“”World, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE PAIN OF LOSING YOUR KID! It’s like the universe Pushed RESET on your life and you didn’t see it coming. Then you have to figure out EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY, how to navigate around, not a glitch, BUT A GAPING HOLE, in your matrix. Then when you make progress, you fall asleep. Then you wake, and your waking thought is your children, so the stabbing ensues, when you RE-REMEMBER Your Loss!! EVERY MORNING, YOU RE-REMEMBER!!
So we seem a little crazy, a little introverted, a little forgetful, a little uncaring? NO DUH, SHERLOCK!!!!
Take the worst moment of your life and plant it into the first 5 minutes, of every single day and see how rosy your disposition will be?? I assure you,whatever your worst moment is, I’D TRADE YOU IN A HEARTBEAT, BECAUSE IT WON’T TOUCH, OUTLIVING YOUR KID!! It just isn’t natural. I go to the grocery store, 2 1/2 years later, I still have to tell myself it’s ok to buy onions. Chelsea was allergic. Sometimes or better yet I STILL HAVEN’T PURCHASED ONIONS, It’s like me and her running joke.
THE INSANITY, created by the morning Re-Remembering, then scrambling to FIND SANITY AND STRENGTH, after that traumatic morning simulation, that snatches you back, to that phone call, to that screaming, to that deafness and colorblindness, all within those first 60 seconds, of EVERY MORNING!! Do me a favor, Non-Grieving Parents & Grandparents. Write on a post it note that YOUR KID/GRANDKID IS DEAD. PUT THEIR NAME on that sticky note and place an ‘X’ THROUGH IT. Now, PLACE IT BY YOUR BED and EVERY MORNING, WAKE AND SEE IT first thing and then Re-remember that that is OUR reality, NOT YOURS!!
Kiss your kids AND STOP JUDGING GRIEVING PARENTS! The insanity breaks you. Something broke. The Zombie life, which that’s all you are, after your kid dies! You become skin, that looks familiar. You will never eat the same, drink the same, sleep the same. Zombie Life it is. You put make up on it and smile, TO MAKE THOSE AROUND YOU COMFORTABLE. THERE YOU HAVE IT. The secret is out. WE NEVER GET BETTER. WE APPEAR TO BE BETTER, SO YOU CAN STOP AVOIDING US!! We smile, for you, to be let off the hook. We socialize so you don’t have to come up, with the right words.
NEWSFLASH, THERE ARE NO RIGHT WORDS. The absolute best one-liner is ‘I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY’ and then HUSH. But hey, we Rock at the Zombie Life, until we don’t! Like My Friend, Melissa Foy, that killed herself 11 months after Her Son went to Heaven!
All I know is, you die with your kid!! Period. Everything else is work and sheer movement, that you have to, choose for your other kids, or Family, because all of the AUTOMATIC APPARATUSES OF LIFE broke THAT day. Be Lucky it’s our walk, not Yours. Go on about your day, feeling Lucky that your kids can be touched.
I’ll continue to work EVERYDAY, making sure OUR Angels & My CHELSEA, are not Forgotten! I will never stop trying to make the world kinder for us heartbroken ones, by educating them, on our vantage point.The world became so unkind when this mountain dropped on us. Some bailed, stopped talked about our Angels, and even judged us, but didn’t extend a hand. WHAT THE HECK?? DID YOU THINK WE KNEW HOW TO BE HERE??? DID YOU THINK WE HAD A MANUAL?? I’ve written one now. 100 Pages of Power, Hope, Coping & AIR=”My FIRST CHRISTMAS” Funny, Non-Grievers, you should read it. There is an entire chapter called “New Normal for Family & Friends” just for YOU, that alleviates all guesswork. It will equip you with genuine SUPPORT tools and reduce your consolation attempts from producing added injuring to our DEVESTATED JOURNEY. Get Your Copy, Today at http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859 (Proceeds Support Anti-Bullying & Suicide Prevention) (or reach out to me for Autographed copies) World, You didn’t have to be in our shoes, to help us stand, in the devastating ones, we got laced in!!! Keep reading, Grieving parents. This book will get you to your feet, so that, just because we bury our babies, the World does not get to bury their memories too!! Non-Grievers, keep reading so that you can replace judgement with understanding and educate yourself on how to provide a better network of support, as one day, you never know, you may have to walk in these very shoes!! “— from the LIFE-CHANGING Book, “My FIRST CHRISTMAS” by Cathie Gray
February 20, 2017 at 10:06 pm
I wish you the best.
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February 20, 2017 at 10:57 pm
Amen! Cathy may I share this on my FB page? I have “friends” that need to read this😢💔
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February 21, 2017 at 3:19 am
All so very true. You just know how to put it in words better than most. Haven’t finished my book yet, but enjoyed what I’ve read. Love, hugs and prayers from one angel momma to another.
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March 6, 2017 at 5:30 pm
Sara THANK YOU for the Love! THANK YOU for taking ahold of My Shattered Soul’s Work that My Angel Ordained me to complete for ALL OF US, as I sure you saw in the very first chapter of “My FIRST CHRISTMAS” http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859 This book is being called “LIFE CHANGING” as you can see in the reviews, and I anxiously await Your Review as well!! I Love You Sara! Afterall, we are MOTHERS OF ANGELS!!
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February 21, 2017 at 1:28 pm
Thank you for this Word Cathie! Your passion to carry forth the message that has been put on your heart seems supernatural as you press on despite your grief. You are an inspiration to this fellow angel Mom.
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March 6, 2017 at 5:33 pm
Wilma, I could have never written this tragedy into a triumph, without the handholding of My ANGEL. I Hope that one day you get to read this book in its entirety. It is being called “LIFE CHANGING” in reviews at http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859 Please reach out to me on Facebook, to get an Autographed copy!!
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February 21, 2017 at 1:29 pm
Oh Cathy thank you for your eloquent words. So so much is relatable. What a travesty that we have to defend our grief.
Debbie
Tamar’s mum
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February 22, 2017 at 8:46 pm
You said it all!!! I shared and will be ordering your book today. Thank you
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February 23, 2017 at 1:12 pm
Cindy you can order my book online, for faster delivery at http://www.createspace.com/5068128 or reach out to me on facebook and I can rush you an Autographed copy even faster!! I can’t wait for you to join other Grieving Families’s Success Stories at http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859
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February 23, 2017 at 1:43 pm
Cindy, check your Facebook inbox,Friend.
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August 23, 2017 at 11:53 pm
You nailed it Kathy. I have saved it to my email address. I want to print it and hang it on my refrigerator door so that anyone who who comes calling (I doubt it) can see what we are going through. Thank you!
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October 2, 2017 at 9:16 pm
Yolanda Dugan, I am elated that you appreciated My Words and want to hang them in your home! I am So sorry that you are on this Journey. When you get a chance please read My Book “My FIRST CHRISTMAS” that this is all taken from http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859
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