I could start this post out with the simple answer to that question but I choose to educate you, with hopes of changing your views once and for all.
Imagine breaking your RIGHT arm. All of your actions and movements will automatically lead to you catering to, coddling, and limiting all of your future activities, based on the PAIN in your RIGHT arm. Does that mean that you don’t LOVE, APPRECIATE, and VALUE your LEFT arm?? Hmmm. Without consideration for your EQUALLY valued LEFT arm, you will answer all invites of activity from THE CONSTANT DEBILITATING PAIN of your RIGHT arm.
Does that make sense to you now?
I will go a step further. As a parent YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN EQUALLY, but you cater to the one that needs you MOST, naturally. You also show more concern momentarily for the one that is out of your sight. I will give you examples of both. If you take 2 of your children swimming, and 1 of them is on the swim team, which side of the pool do you think you will sit on and show the most attention? The side of your swim-star or the side of the non-swimmer? I give this analogy for all of you moms and dads with no decesaed children to educate you on the fact that you should stop passing ridiculous judgement on parents of deceased children, when you do the exact same thing, in catering to your weakest, while still LOVING EQUALLY your stronger, child. What about when your LIVING child is SICK, when your other LIVING child is not sick? When you decline an invitation to go to a festive occassion with your NON-SICK child because of your need to care for & cater to your SICK child, does that mean you LOVE your SICK child MORE?? What is your answer?? NO?? Then why in the hell do you have the Audacity to accuse us of LOVING OUR DEAD CHILD MORE? SICK, Broken Arm, neither of those equate to DEAD, but we LOVE OUR CHILDREN EQUALLY. The PAIN makes us APPEAR to cater more, always consider and operate from the day our Child DIED, but we LOVE OUR CHILDREN EQUALLY!
Even further…Parents of 2 Living Children, if one of them goes on a road trip and the other is SAFE at home with You, which do you worry, think about, lose sleep most, over?? The ONE THAT IS OUT OF YOUR LINE OF SIGHT, CORRECT?? You and I both know the answer because both of our answers are the same! Did your LOVE for the one SAFE somehow REDUCE because you worried and thought of the one out of sight more?? HELL NO. SO STOP THE RIDICULOUS JUDGEMENT OF GRIEVING PARENTS, TODAY!!
Rather you are a GRIEVING PARENT, GRANDPARENT, or someone that is trying to exist with a GRIEVING PARENT or GRANDPARENT, do yourselves a favor and read the book, “My FIRST CHRISTMAS” It has ALL THE ANSWERS that ALL OF YOU seek, regardless of what role you play in this post!! http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508492859 and FOLLOW me on TWITTER @ms_cat_gray
WE, just as You, LOVE OUR CHILDREN EQUALLY!!
May 13, 2017 at 9:12 am
Cathie, thank you for words. I can definitely relate. People who’ve felt I needed reminding that I still have 2 healthy children. It really offends me. I had a long message from my sister at New Year, (after only losing Tamar in September) saying ” I don’t know what’s going on in your head,but you are punishing people left”
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June 23, 2017 at 12:07 am
Debby I am SO SORRY for Your LOSS and I am sorry that your Sister said such hurtful words to you. Thank You for commenting on this blog post, and my hope is that you get a chance to read this book in its entirety! As a matter of fact, I would recommend that you purchase a copy of this Power-filled read for your Sister, Too! I assure you that “My FIRST CHRISTMAS” makes an Immense difference regardless of what side of the Grief you are on! This book has been attributed with providing outsiders with OUR EXACT VANTAGE point and have brought many estranged families back together! You can order copies at http://www.createspace.com/5068128 or reach out to my on Facebook (my profile name is Cat Gray) and I can rush you 2 AUTOGRAPHED copies at a discounted rate! I AM SO CERTAIN that this will make a significant Difference!! FLY SLOW TAMAR!!
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May 16, 2017 at 3:39 am
So we’ll put…thank you!
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June 23, 2017 at 12:03 am
Tara I am elated that you appreciated the Blog post about loving our Living Children and OUR ANGELS the same. The world needed to hear it! Love You Tara!
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June 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm
@debbymccs60 Wow… that message from your sister? That is horrible. I am fortunate in that I have not lost a child but I grieve for my friends and family members who have. I know that there will always be a hole in their heart that will never heal. I just try to listen and offer words of support and encouragement.
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June 22, 2017 at 11:36 pm
Kelly, YOU ROCK!!! The world needs more supportive understanding AWESOME people like YOU!!!
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